We had a great weekend, but yesterday was particularly wonderful. My longest, lifelong girlfriend is in town for our class reunion. She's been here for a week to spend extra time with her siblings. She contacted me Saturday night and asked if we could go to church and brunch afterward Sunday morning.
Cyd and I met in first grade (have I told this story before?) when she walked into the classroom as a new student. Our teacher always assigned a current student to shepherd the new student around school so they wouldn't feel overwhelmed. Our teacher chose me to be that person for Cyd (then Cindy). Well, we hit it off, learned she also lived close to our house, and the rest is history. We've been best friends ever since - a total of 62 years.
I quickly learned that not only did we share a school, but her family was also Methodist, so we also would attend the same church. Our families used to walk to church together, and her parents and mine also became good friends. We went to the same church until after graduation when Cyd's studies and life carried her away from Fond du Lac, and marriage eventually led me away from town, too.
Handsome and I continued worshiping at that church, as he was also Methodist, and in those years, we had a booming congregation. There were usually 350 people gathering on a regular Sunday and two to three times that on Christmas and Easter. We served on church committees and were active in fundraising for a new building when the church that held our families for so many generations began to crumble. They were good years.
Yesterday morning, I met my dear friend at the church and we held hands as we frequently have through the years. We worshiped together, greeted the other parishioners and looked at old photographs on the wall in the fellowship hall. One photograph showed the then minister with a number of Sunday school teachers and children standing on the front steps of the church. I immediately pointed out my mum and little sister in the photo. Cyd wondered where we were, and I found myself first and then Cyd next to me. We had to smile at the shared memory.
When we got to the restaurant for brunch, we began our conversation talking about the church. Both of us were sad. The pews were mostly empty. I counted fewer than fifty people in the sanctuary...and there were no children. Not one. Most of the people were our age or older. We felt like we were attending a dying church and we talked about it for quite a while.
I know there are many reasons why people no longer attend church. Heck. I've been one of them. We live in a rural area. Things to do at home, and while Handsome and I are spiritual, there were changes in the church that we didn't agree with. Even so, Sunday is going to live in my head for a while. I'm going to discuss it with my husband, and I'm going to pray on it.
I know this isn't at all my usual sort of post, but I'm wondering what you might feel about organized religion and attending church these days. Is church no longer important in our lives? No judgment whatsoever. Please share your thoughts if you're so moved - and thanks in advance.
How fun to find old memories.
ReplyDeleteGlad you get to spend some time with an old friend.
Marilyn
Hi Marilyn:
DeleteThanks so much. I'm looking forward to spending more time with her this weekend. It's never enough since we live so far apart.
xoxo
Donna
So wonderful to have such a long-standing friend. I have one who has been my friend for 67 years and two others who are close to 40 years. They're the best!
ReplyDeleteWe don't attend church other than a particular service that we get on our tv. If that church was close to us, we would probably attend in person. You're right to think that most churches are dwindling in attendance and it's sad to see. My parents weren't church goers (primarily because my mother couldn't sit for long periods of time without a lot of pain) but they supported the church financially as they could. In my teen years when I was able to make my own decisions I would sit in our backyard and watch the people going in to church and could point at this one and that one (and several more) who were almighty sinners all week long. Wife-swapping was a 'thing' in our small village for quite some time and I couldn't understand how God could manage to forgive these people on Sundays. Right about that time there was a wonderful minister who had all sorts of great programs for young people which I did attend. However, the powers-that-be felt he wasn't doing enough for the old people and they fired him. They couldn't see that the future of the church had to come from the youth and ended up hiring a much-older minister who had absolutely no use for young people and didn't want them in his church. Needless to say my interest in going to church came to an end. DH didn't come from a chuch-going family so he has little interest in it either. We both feel that reading our bibles and trying to live according to its teachings, along with our sermon we watch every Sunday, is the best we can do. It's sad to see churches struggling though and I really don't know what the answer is.
Hi MA:
DeleteI think the thing I love most about these dear long friendships is that, like family, we have so much shared history. We don't have to go into great deal when telling an old story because it was shared with that special person. We used to laugh that we'd known each other long enough to unfriend the other's mom on Facebook.
I well understand what you're saying about the church hypocrites. I'm glad we're not responsible for final disposition - or knowing their true hearts. It's a job I'll leave to the Almighty, and have faith that my sins will also be forgiven. I also understand your belief about following Him without actually going to a building. I know Jesus is the only way, but I realized I do miss the traditions from the time I spent in that church for so many years. I also noticed that some things that were "modernized" before I left years ago, have returned to the old ways (the doxology, for example). Perhaps it's because the older congregation wanted it so. I may go a few more times to see if modern politics has entered the clergy. It would help me determine whether or not continuing to attend would be right for me. Thanks for your insight. I really appreciate it.
xoxo
Donna
We attend a Very large Baptist church in the south. Daniel is in college in the neighboring state and has found his church there. Katie is very involved in the student ministry and plays violin on stage virtually every Sunday. I can’t always go because of health issues, but I miss it when I don’t. I think you have to find the church that has beliefs that you agree with. I’m very grateful for our church and the impact it’s had on each member of my family.
ReplyDeleteHi Andrea:
DeleteHow wonderful that your children can participate in the worship experience. I think the thing that stood out the strongest to me last weekend was the startling lack of musical talent. Two off-key singers, and a piano accompaniment was a far cry from the choir, organ and soloists of previous years. It was actually painful to see. Praying that your health improves, dear. I think I shall attend a few more times to see if that was an anomaly or the norm before I decide. I agree you have much to be grateful for.
xoxo
Donna
Anonymous is Andrea Hickman by the way!
ReplyDeleteDonna, I greatly appreciate what you shared today! I've always enjoyed your Sunday postings, and have wondered about your spiritual background. This comment could be very, very long, but I will try to keep it brief. Being a Christian (my salvation being totally dependent on what Jesus Christ did on the cross!) is the core of my being and is at the root of every action. I am a sinner saved by grace! Participating in a local fellowship of believers is so very important (and mandated by Scripture) to help us on our journey on this earth - to be blessed by others, to be a blessing to others, to be held accountable, and so much m ore.... Finding the right fellowship is certainly challenging as so many churches today are endeavoring to be "seeker friendly" and leave absolute Truths behind. I have come from a Presbyterian/Baptist family, but have mostly attended independent churches. We are blessed to attend a local Calvary Chapel with our adult children and their children, and love being involved in the children's ministries! I think the majority of people are turned away from "church" due to hypocrisy... people not endeavoring to walk with Christ 24/7 and maintain a consistent relationship with Him. As long as people are involved in the church, there will be problems. (-; After all, we are all sinners. God is so good to forgive us our sins, but, He is also Holy and has given us His Word to live by. We are going to fall short, but, He loves us and continues to "pick us up and brush us off" when we seek Him. And, I'm getting really long here... sorry. Bottom line, I would encourage you and Hubby to find a good assembly of local believers to fellowship with... it is such a blessing to worship together in song and prayer, and to grow in the Scriptures! I also enjoyed hearing again about your dear friendship... that is such a special blessing and gift!
ReplyDeleteDear Lois:
DeleteI wholeheartedly agree with every single word you wrote. Your beliefs mirror mine, except that we worship in difference faiths (you being Presbyterian/Baptist, and I a Methodist). A priest friend once reminded me when I was a questioning teenager that "it's just doctrine". I never forgot that. I know my salvation resides with Jesus, and that I am only worthy because of His grace and sacrifice. I always try to choose verses for Sunday that are relevant to either current events or my personal life, but that will also hold meaning for the people who visit and read them. Thank you for being one of those people, dear. Don't apologize for the length of your comment. Everything you said has been read, internalized, and will be acted upon. I can't wait to see Cyd again this weekend, either!
xoxo
Donna
A similar thing has happened to our Methodist Church, not over a building campaign, but a minister broke a thriving church with her actions. Now the church is so changed that you would not recognize it. I find it very sad and as I age, currently 83, it upsets me even more. Another thing I feel that a church should not have to change to the current culture if it is teaching the Bible.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree with you more. I do not like the church going against God's teachings in order to placate the congregation. Their job is to bring sinners back to the fold, not to excuse or promote continued sin. I think I'll return a few more times to my childhood church and see whether or not it may fit. If not, I'm going to seek another. Thanks so much for your comments.
DeleteBlessings, dear.
xoxo
Donna
This is a wonderful post. I don't want to get into a lengthy comment but my thoughts are very similar to yours and Magpie and Lois. I think we are just from a very different generation, and if
ReplyDeletethe Smart Phone doesn't tell you to go to Church on Sunday, it's just not gonna happen.
Shirley
Hi Shirley:
DeleteI find myself contemplating the fate of so many young people who either do not know God, or actively see the alternative. We had such grounding through our faith as we grew up. It's difficult enough for young people, but to not have a foundation in faith can only make it more confusing as I see it. I'm going to add them to my prayers and hope that they find a faith that can sustain them through the difficult times they will encounter as they become adults. Thank you for your comment, dear.
Hugs,
xoxo
Donna