June 26, 2017

A Short Story - Part Two...

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I was asked to speak a little bit more about my "process", from this post last week. Thank you to everyone who commented on that post. I was truly overwhelmed by your responses. I had no idea when I shared those thoughts that I would touch so many kindred hearts. 

Have you heard these words from William Morris before? Since moving to the farmhouse, I'm really trying to embrace these words as I sort through all the things we moved to this home. I don't want to store my clutter anymore. Likewise, for so many reasons, I don't want to store clutter in my head either.

I heard a story once about a group of people who went with their therapist to dip their toes in the sea. When they arrived at the beach, the therapist had a bag waiting with the names of each of the people on the outside. In the bags were rocks of various sizes, but each bag was rather heavy. The therapist told each person to grab a bag, and then go out an enjoy the beach.

Each person grabbed a bag and went for a walk. Soon, the therapist came upon one of the people sitting in the sand and sobbing. The therapist asked what was wrong and the (woman) told her that the bag of rocks was so heavy that she could hardly drag it around as she explored the beach.

The therapist looked at her and asked,  "Then, why are you lugging them around?" The woman looked at her dumbfounded. "You mean, I don't have to keep carrying them?", she asked. The therapist replied, "Well, of course you don't. I told you to take the bag and enjoy the beach. If lugging the contents of the bag are dragging you down, let the rocks go." 
 
She then proceeded to encourage the woman to take a rock, toss it into the ocean to see how it felt. The woman was giddy. She had so much fun tossing the rocks into the sea that she continued to do it until her bag was empty, and once she no longer had the load, she was free to enjoy the rest of her time at the beach.
 
This is a story I heard decades ago, but it stuck with me. It made sense to me, and once I internalized the lesson, it was easy to embrace the lesson. Sometimes the simplest solution is the hardest one to think of on our own.

As far as those Committee members and their voices in my head? I've given them value assessments.
Like William Morris' words, are those voices useful? Do I believe them to be beautiful? If the answer is "no", then why would I give them free rent in my "house" (my head)?

I went through a grieving process with some of the Committee members, but in the end, letting them go was for the best. While some of the members still talk about me, I've decided that their opinions of me are none of my business. They don't talk with me, and that devalues them as Committee members. Their words no longer have currency in my life.

If the words of your Committee members hurt, why hold onto them? If the words of your Committee members instill sad, hurtful, anxious, vengeful, fearful or unhappy thoughts for you, let them go. Like the rocks on the beach, they'll only weigh you down. 

In my case, I decided that my life deserved to be spent doing things I love, with people who love me (and I adore in return), and celebrating the wonderful blessings that God has bestowed on me. I deserve nothing less than His best for me.

Once you can say those words to yourself - "I deserve nothing less than His best for me" - it becomes easier to evict the dead weight in your Committee and embrace those loving and joyful voices that remain. Even if it's only one voice. 

Be well. Be brave. Choose Joy. I know you can do it. I believe in you.
 
xo
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5 friends clicked here to leave a note for me:

Buttons said...

Oh Donna, I love this and am taking this to the island with me. Very timely and makes so much sense! Thank you xoxo

Createology said...

I have heard these words from William Morris, however, I always equated them with material possessions. Now I can relate them to my committee members also. I would be the one "Bag Lady" carrying those heavy rocks and being miserable. It is time for me to reassess my very own home/head. Thank you Donna Dear. May you enJOY every day to the fullest...<3

Jane said...

Really like this - good points to ponder! I need to work on this issue and get rid of my bag of rocks!
Thank you for sharing!
Jane

TerriSue said...

Thank you, Sobbing to much to say more.
TerriSue

Nita Jo said...

I just rediscovered your blog again, and what perfect timing! This post was exactly what I needed to read. It reinforced some changes I'd made in my own life and thought processes. I went back and read your part one, and it was just as helpful. Thank you! Wishing you joy!

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