Happy Birthday, Sister Goldenhair...

Yesterday would have been my sister, Lyn's 70th birthday. This is her second celebration in Heaven. I know she and Dad celebrated with the rest of our loved ones who went before, but those of us she left behind sure wish she could have celebrated with us. 

This photograph was taken just after I turned 50. I'd like to think we would have celebrated this birthday with another photo shoot. It wasn't to be, but I wanted my daily diary blog to reflect that she was in my heart and on our minds, today and every day. Love never dies...

Happy Birthday, Lyndy.

 

Fluffing Feathers Again...

I'm working on the feathers, but only sharing a partially completed one today. I'll have all of them finished by Monday's post.

In addition to doing my needlework, I also made two loaves of bread which Handsome baked after it rose. I needed to take him to pick up his truck which had been at the dealership for two days because something prevented it from even starting, but I didn't want to leave the house with the oven going, so he took over where I left off once he got back home. I went on to work after I dropped him off. I was definitely multi-tasking all day.

Work went really well. We were insanely busy, and I was definitely flitting around until about the last half hour of my shift. It was great though, as the time flew by.

Handsome has a concert in town tomorrow, so he's helping set up at the venue this morning. I'll be working on feathers as soon as I take care of Bella and Carly. My binding fabric should be arriving today, which means that I'll be able to start the assembly process as soon as I finish stitching these corners. I'm going to try to do that this weekend, but with Handsome's concert in the middle of the day, I may not get to it until Monday. We'll just have to see.

Today marks two years since my younger sister, Lyn left us. I'll be checking in with her daughters and my remaining sisters today as we take extra care of each other as we continue to grieve her passing. I just couldn't close out today's post without recognizing the fact that we will always miss her terribly. I know she's rejoicing with our Savior, and knowing we'll be together again some day gives us all a measure of comfort. Our faith carries us when our hearts are hurting. I'll be back on Monday.

The Gift...

"Sisters and Friends" Book and Presentation Box

This is a difficult post to write, so please bear with me. Sunday was an emotional day when my dear niece, Jennifer gave this book (back) to me. I've been emotional over it ever since.

I created this book for Jennifer's mom, my sister, Lyn in 2005. I took photographs of every page after I finished it, thinking I'd give it to her and never see it again except when visiting her. That was true until Sunday.

"The Village of Hidden Wishes" by David Fletcher

The "bones" of this book was a book titled "The Village of Hidden Wishes" by David Fletcher. Mum and Dad believed their kids should read, and we were always gifted books which we loved dearly. This particular book was given to me, so I wrote my name on the inside cover. My sister and I shared a room, and it often happened that my name would end up crossed out and Lyn would write her name inside instead. Once my other younger sisters came along, they too signed their names into childhood books I'd left behind. I always smiled to see that.

Anyway, this was a story about twin sisters who traded places with their dolls and went on merry adventures. Lyn and I both loved the story. So, in 2005, I took this book and turned it into a book about us.

Inside pages

I added photos of the two of us as little girls, favorite places, and favorite shared memories. Here, I added album covers from our favorite music from that year, and pictures from a party she and her husband had at their home, as well as a picture of her when she came home from traveling all over the world. I called her "Sister Goldenhair". I even added a pocket to hold a cd of music I'd recorded for her.

Lyn's (First) Wedding

Over the years, my sister married four times in search of happiness. In 2005, I placed these photos from her first wedding to my niece's father. When I painted the pages of the book, I always kept a few appropriate lines unpainted. On this set of pages, I left Fletcher's words "far too confused and dizzy with all the excitement and changes that had taken place to properly notice the passage of time". Looking back, those words still ring true.

Lyn - The Day I Gave Her The Book

This is the photograph I took of my sister the day I gave the book and box to her. I'd even decorated the inside and outside of the box, so there was no doubt it was a set. She loved it and cried when paging through it.

The Box Today

When my sister died in 2023, I only asked for two things from her personal belongings. There was a bottle of liqueur that Dad kept in his "liquor closet" that had a dancing ballerina inside. He would occasionally bring it out, wind it up and the two of us would watch her spin around. Lyn had the bottle for years. 

Her daughters gave me that bottle, but told me that, sadly, the ballerina didn't dance anymore. As they handed the bottle to me, the mechanism started on its own and that ballerina danced in my hands. We all wept together, taking it as a sign from Dad and their mom.

However, they were unable to find the book. I showed them photos of what it looked like, and said that even though she'd spent years angry with me (it was a stupid family thing), I just knew she would never destroy it. I was right.

Sunday, her husband said he found it tucked away in the back of one of the drawers in her room. My niece told me she'd added precious other things to it over the years...cards from me, a single seashell from when she came and stayed with Handsome and me in Florida, baptism records of her girls, and a few other things. The fact is, she kept it safe for the past twenty years. Thankfully, we reconciled before she left us, so I do have her sweet, final "I love you" to hold on to, too.

The paper on the outside of the box, as well as the individual beads I made to embellish it are faded to white now, but everything else is intact. 

The Keeper of the Book - For Now

I asked Handsome to try to recreate me posing with the box and book as Lyn did all those years ago. I'm smiling through tears. I've added a few more photos to the back of the book, and added the date she left us under the date that we celebrated her birth.

I'm going to add the cards I saved from Lyn to the box. Even when we weren't on speaking terms, we each held those memories close. When I opened the pages in front of Jen and her two kids, I explained each and every photo. Where we were together. What the notes meant. The shared secrets and laughter behind every element saved between its covers. Jen thanked me for sharing and being our memory keeper. That meant the world to me.

I've told Jen that I'll hold the book until it's time for me to be with Lyn again. Then it will go back to her and her daughter for safekeeping. Lyn always used to say, "Look to the stars". That's why I chose the handmade paper that was used throughout her book.

Now she rests among the stars and watches over her two beautiful girls and their families. I'll do my best to watch over them from here, and be the keeper of the flame that keeps her memory alive for them. I have lots of wonderful stories, and I intend to share them all. 

Bridal Shower...

The weekend got off to a rough start with my sister's daughters coming in from out of state to try to deal with her personal effects to clean out her home. Her husband is having an understandably difficult time, and going through my sister's things was difficult for everyone. My remaining two sisters and I did what we could to help, but there were a lot of tears amidst moments of happy memories and laughter. 

Our nieces went back home yesterday, and will return in a couple months to put together an estate sale, but many boxes went for donation, and some items of sentimental value were given to family members. 

Before the ladies left yesterday, I was able to meet up with them for a light lunch. Hugs were exchanged, and then we parted ways. My eldest niece was driving six hours to get home, while the other was heading to the airport to fly home. I got in my trusty Explorer and drove an hour north to the wedding shower for my great-nephew, Ethan's fiancee's wedding shower. I knew my two remaining sisters would both be there, so we were looking forward to celebrating for a couple hours.

The bride is in white, and she's surrounded by her sister, who is the Maid of Honor (in pink), her two other bridesmaids, and her daughter.

My niece (her future mother-in-law) threw a wonderful party. She's a great party planner, and there was tasty food, and a few fun quiz games to play for prizes. 

When the bride-to-be opened the gift from Handsome and me, she looked at me and smiled. She told me more than once that she loved her new brooch, and would absolutely wear it for their ceremony. I am delighted that she is happy with what I created for their wedding.

Before we all parted ways, I made sure there were photos taken of me with my two sisters, Di and Jan. We did the best we could to help our nieces over the weekend, then attend this celebration, but I know all three of us were tired by the end of yesterday. 

Jan will be working today and tomorrow; Di will spend a little time with her son's family before leaving to drive six hours north to go home. She lives near my eldest niece, so she has nearly the identical drive. I'm going to get some things done with Handsome today, but I'll be able to rest a bit, too. This weekend was a good time to spend with family, but under the circumstances, it was exhausting, so we'll recuperate as we're able. 

We all miss the sister who wasn't there, and it will always be this way for us. We were four and now we're three, but Lyn will always be in our hearts, and we'll do our best for her daughters, grandchildren, and husband.

Stemmed...

 

Sometimes life - or end of life - gets in the way of less important things. I managed to get the stem attached to my Autumn Strawberry, but that's about all I accomplished in the studio. I regret that I didn't get daylight photographs taken, so I'll do that this morning and then I can get this listed in my Etsy shop.

 

My sister's funeral is tomorrow. My two remaining sisters - Di and Jan - will be here today so we can put together photo boards for the visitation. There was also a request from Lyn's daughters that the aunties make our family recipe for hot cocoa mix to serve along with coffee and water. Di is making some lovely hibiscus-flavored water, as well as another that I've managed to forget. Lemons and something else, I think. So, after we've completed the photo boards, we'll move downstairs to the kitchen and mix up a big batch of hot cocoa mix.

One of my ex-brothers-in-law (there are, unfortunately, more than a couple among my siblings) works in graphic and digital design. He agreed to remove and replace a background from an image of Lyn that the girls wanted enlarged. After we arranged that and got the revised image, I ordered a 16" x 20" print to be made to place next to her urn in the church. I'm going to pick it up later today, after Di and Jan drive back to town to be with our nieces.

It's likely to be a busy and emotional few days. Prayers would be appreciated as we formally say goodbye - for now - to my sister. Thanks so much.

Welcome, December.

 

Thank You From The Bottom Of My Heart...

With deep gratitude for your many kind comments, I'm still working on projects that I'll be able to share in the coming days. Right now, our family is taking care of each other. 

I deeply appreciate that you're also taking care of me through all your beautiful messages. I promise to reply to each one soon. While we'll mourn her passing, each day gets a little easier for us, because we know she's no longer suffering.

My Sister, Lyn...

 

This is one of my favorite photographs of me with my sisters. In this one, we're top to bottom, oldest to youngest. Through all the years, we've taken many pictures like this.

 

This was all of us (left to right = oldest to youngest) at Dad's Celebration of Life in August, 2020. My sister, Lyn was leaning on my brother as she stood between us. She was already frail from Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. There is no cure.
 

 

 

Here are the Four Sisters again at Lyn's Birthday party July 2023. She could barely make it from their vehicle to the house, so she sat here until it was time to leave.

 

Saturday, I got a call that she was back in the hospital in the intensive care unit since Friday. She now has end stage COPD. Her daughters are here from Minnesota and Colorado, our 86 year old mum, Di, Jan and I are all here and we've been to the hospital to be with her. Our youngest brother came home from vacation in Georgia yesterday to see her, and I assume our other brother will be here soon, too. This weekend has not been good.

She's improved enough so that she can probably leave the ICU in the next day or so to go home. She's scheduled to again meet with a transplant team on November 21st to assess whether or not she's a candidate for a lung transplant. She is 5'6" tall and currently weighs 98 pounds. (That's not good.) Her husband is hopeful that they'll approve her for a new lung and that she'll be fine. Lyn has said she'll see what the team says and go from there.

Sunday brought Handsome's last concert of the season with the Fond du Lac Symphonic Band. It was held in St. Paul's Cathedral in Fond du Lac. It was a wonderful and moving concert, at one point moving me to tears. Why does that always happen when I've left all my hankies at home? It's been an emotional weekend, and the music released all that I'd repressed. It was all I could do not to weep out loud. I was sitting next to Mum and she whispered, "Are you alright?" I could only nod. I was finally able to pull myself together before the piece was finished, and maintained my composure the rest of the afternoon. Between the venue and the music, I'm surprised there was a dry eye in the place. 

I'm going to town again today to spend time with Diana and Mum. I'm not sure about going back to the hospital right now. Lyn spends most of her time sedated, so acknowledging visitors takes a lot out of her. I'll get updates from her daughters about if and when she's going to go home, and will see her in the next day or so.

 

If you have a prayer or kind thought that you might spare, I'd sure appreciate if you could lift it for my sister. We're praying for her to be comfortable and pain-free, as she's neither right now. I'm going to grab my travel Yeti, fill it with coffee and go meet up with Di soon. Thanks for listening.

Family...

L-r: Me, Niece #2, Nephew #4, my youngest sister, Jan Missing from photo: Niece #1

My sister, Lyn, was discharged from the hospital yesterday. Her husband took her home, and her two daughters were going home, too. Jan and I had planned to be in Milwaukee for brunch at the restaurant where my nephew is a chef, so I let the girls know we'd be there if they could join us. They said they didn't think the timing would work.

We were walking from our car to the restaurant when our nieces pulled into the lot to surprise us. Although our eldest niece, Jen couldn't stay - she had a 6 hour drive home to her kids - she did visit for a bit before leaving. Her sister, AJ joined us for brunch and we caught this group photo before we had to shuttle her to the airport to fly home. She'd planned to take an Uber, but these two aunties wouldn't let her do that. We were her Uber instead!

Nephew was responsible for creating some of the items on the menu, and I was most happy that one of his dishes was the one I'd ordered. It was a delicious dish featuring mushrooms with a cream sauce over toast, topped with a perfectly cooked egg, pickled onion and micro greens.

Our visit is just what our nieces needed after the week they've had, worried sick about their mom, and we had the added bonus of seeing our guy, too. Of course the visit was too short, but we were grateful for the time we had.

Sister isn't out of the woods yet. She has a lot of therapy to do, and without violating her privacy further, we're still very much concerned for her long-term prognosis. We'll continue our prayers, and support her as we're able.

Both nieces texted me later to let me know when they were each safely home, and I'm sure they were glad to sleep in their own beds. Today begins a new week with new challenges and tasks. I'm looking forward to meeting mine head-on. Tag will be here tomorrow with "all the news that's fit to print". I'll see you again on Wednesday.

 

Distracted...

Heart Applique Quilt - Web image

 

I've been trying to keep my mind busy with some sorting and cleaning, but my head is in another place. The sister closest in age to me (all my siblings are younger than me) has been very ill for a while. Five days ago, she was taken to the hospital in grave distress and was subsequently flown to a Milwaukee hospital for urgent care. She has spent that time in ICU until today, when she is scheduled to be moved to an inpatient room.

 

She had surgery during that time, too, and my nieces have been keeping our family informed with updates as they're available. Visitation is limited to two at a time, so our mother, brothers and sisters have stayed away in favor of her daughters who both came from out-of-state to be with her. 

 

We're not sure what the future holds for her. Her condition has been a roller coaster this past year, and she's very frail. We're all praying that she'll come through all of this, and in the meantime, my mind is barely able to focus on any tasks. I move from room to room, waiting for more reports.

 

I'm going to try to accomplish something positive today. I'll keep praying and trust in His will for my sister. Aside from being here if my nieces need me, it's all I can do.