May 20, 2012

Dear Heart...

Mom Grace has moved into a nursing home. The home she's lived in for the past fifty years is empty and for sale. Anything that she didn't want in her new quarters was divided among her four children - and me.

There were things she wanted me to have, including a few things I had made and given to her years ago. This hand-dyed wool pillow I made for her over fifteen years ago was one of those things. I remember the time I spent stitching on it like it was yesterday. I even added our initials to each bottom corner, and I couldn't wait to surprise her with it! It sat for years on her bed at home and I know how much she liked having it.

But there are only so many personal things you can take with you into a small room that becomes your living and sleeping quarters, so choices had to be made. I understand, but I couldn't help but be a little sad.

In the boxes of things she had set aside for me were all the letters I'd ever written to her and the photo albums I mailed to her to show her what I was creating, how our grandchildren were growing and thoughts I wanted to share with her. Seeing all of these things in the box bothered me more. I know that it was out of consideration for the photos that they were returned to me, but it somehow felt like something was coming to an end. I don't think I can explain it any better than that.

There were other things, too. Items I will treasure that meant something to Mom. Things I can now treasure in our home. I know that this pillow will sit in a special place where I can see it every day, and reminisce on the nearly forty years of friendship we've shared.

I'll continue to send letters and photographs to her when we're apart. I'll spend as much time as I'm able with her when I'm in Wisconsin. It's not the end. It's just a new beginning, but I think in some ways it will be as uncomfortable and sad for me as it is for her.

Life will go on, Dear Heart. It will just be different. I love you, Mom. 

13 friends clicked here to leave a note for me:

Lisette Harzing said...

I always feel it is so painfull when old people after a hard working life have to leave their home and change it for a one bedroom appartment in a nursing home.
They have to let go of so many important belongings. That is so cruel. I totally understand your feelings.

laurajane said...

Your post really touched me Donna.Its sad to part with the treasures you have collected over a life time.But mum inlaw will always have her wonderful memories.
Love from Laura and

Carol- Beads and Birds said...

Its so hard to watch our loved ones grow older. Hard to control our emotions as changes occur. But you have wonderful memories of her as she does you. That is the healing thing.
Here's a hug from me to you.
xx, Carol

Michelle May said...

It's just sooooooooo sad. :(

Sue said...

Goodness. A huge lump is on my throat as I read this. I am going through some very similar things in my life.

I know we can be thankful for the wonderful memories and you will make more if them. I am sure your dear mother has and will continue to cherish all these
memories you have made together.

Twyla and Lindsey said...

Donna, it is so sad to think she has to give up things she so obviously treasured. I hope that the two of you will still have many treasured moments together. Twyla

Cheryl~ZanyMayd said...

Dear Donna, Such a Sweet & Sad post, I started looking at some of the Treasures I know & love that are from loved ones....
ps. my fingers are crossed for you & the birdie ring!

Sherri said...

Donna, I'm sure the decisions on what to take and what to give away were really hard. Glad you got some of your treasures back! I would hold them dear to my heart and cherish them!

Createology said...

This is such a bittersweet post and one I can read is very difficult for you. This is the part of life that I definitely do not understand...why we live our lives and gather so many memories only to leave them all behind. You both know how much you love one another and that is so important. Blessings dear...

Marisel said...

It's so hard for your mom to move from a home full of beloved memories & for you not to be able to visit in the home too. It's wonderful that you have these treasured items, like this beautiful cushion that hold so many memories. I'd be so touched to receive a pillow like this, in fact I really want to make one like this for my mom who also has just moved into a frail care village since my dads passing.
I've sewn my mom a little felt phone pouch with the words 'Love you mom' on for mothers day which she loved. I bought her a little Tracfone SVC for seniors, with the big keys and letters on the screen so she didn't have to use her glasses to make a call.
I find since turning 49 that time just seems to fly faster and faster and as we get older we physically age faster and faster. We really have to live with more feeling and show our love more to others.

Minimiss said...

These major life changes are so hard for all of us. I hate to think about the day that I might have to do the same thing with my Mum, let alone sifting through all my own stuff when the time comes.

Hugs to you and may you and Mom Grace make many new memories together.

Patty said...

Transitions like this are hard, we a nearing that time with my mother, hopefully it won't be too soon. Hopefully this will be a smooth transition for Mom Grace.

Cyn ;-) said...

Treasure her while you still can. It was so thoughtful of her to set these things aside for you - like telling you how special you are to her.
I've been where you are. My heart goes out to you.


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