Happy Birthday, Sister Goldenhair...

Yesterday would have been my sister, Lyn's 70th birthday. This is her second celebration in Heaven. I know she and Dad celebrated with the rest of our loved ones who went before, but those of us she left behind sure wish she could have celebrated with us. 

This photograph was taken just after I turned 50. I'd like to think we would have celebrated this birthday with another photo shoot. It wasn't to be, but I wanted my daily diary blog to reflect that she was in my heart and on our minds, today and every day. Love never dies...

Happy Birthday, Lyndy.

 

Fluffing Feathers Again...

I'm working on the feathers, but only sharing a partially completed one today. I'll have all of them finished by Monday's post.

In addition to doing my needlework, I also made two loaves of bread which Handsome baked after it rose. I needed to take him to pick up his truck which had been at the dealership for two days because something prevented it from even starting, but I didn't want to leave the house with the oven going, so he took over where I left off once he got back home. I went on to work after I dropped him off. I was definitely multi-tasking all day.

Work went really well. We were insanely busy, and I was definitely flitting around until about the last half hour of my shift. It was great though, as the time flew by.

Handsome has a concert in town tomorrow, so he's helping set up at the venue this morning. I'll be working on feathers as soon as I take care of Bella and Carly. My binding fabric should be arriving today, which means that I'll be able to start the assembly process as soon as I finish stitching these corners. I'm going to try to do that this weekend, but with Handsome's concert in the middle of the day, I may not get to it until Monday. We'll just have to see.

Today marks two years since my younger sister, Lyn left us. I'll be checking in with her daughters and my remaining sisters today as we take extra care of each other as we continue to grieve her passing. I just couldn't close out today's post without recognizing the fact that we will always miss her terribly. I know she's rejoicing with our Savior, and knowing we'll be together again some day gives us all a measure of comfort. Our faith carries us when our hearts are hurting. I'll be back on Monday.

The Gift...

"Sisters and Friends" Book and Presentation Box

This is a difficult post to write, so please bear with me. Sunday was an emotional day when my dear niece, Jennifer gave this book (back) to me. I've been emotional over it ever since.

I created this book for Jennifer's mom, my sister, Lyn in 2005. I took photographs of every page after I finished it, thinking I'd give it to her and never see it again except when visiting her. That was true until Sunday.

"The Village of Hidden Wishes" by David Fletcher

The "bones" of this book was a book titled "The Village of Hidden Wishes" by David Fletcher. Mum and Dad believed their kids should read, and we were always gifted books which we loved dearly. This particular book was given to me, so I wrote my name on the inside cover. My sister and I shared a room, and it often happened that my name would end up crossed out and Lyn would write her name inside instead. Once my other younger sisters came along, they too signed their names into childhood books I'd left behind. I always smiled to see that.

Anyway, this was a story about twin sisters who traded places with their dolls and went on merry adventures. Lyn and I both loved the story. So, in 2005, I took this book and turned it into a book about us.

Inside pages

I added photos of the two of us as little girls, favorite places, and favorite shared memories. Here, I added album covers from our favorite music from that year, and pictures from a party she and her husband had at their home, as well as a picture of her when she came home from traveling all over the world. I called her "Sister Goldenhair". I even added a pocket to hold a cd of music I'd recorded for her.

Lyn's (First) Wedding

Over the years, my sister married four times in search of happiness. In 2005, I placed these photos from her first wedding to my niece's father. When I painted the pages of the book, I always kept a few appropriate lines unpainted. On this set of pages, I left Fletcher's words "far too confused and dizzy with all the excitement and changes that had taken place to properly notice the passage of time". Looking back, those words still ring true.

Lyn - The Day I Gave Her The Book

This is the photograph I took of my sister the day I gave the book and box to her. I'd even decorated the inside and outside of the box, so there was no doubt it was a set. She loved it and cried when paging through it.

The Box Today

When my sister died in 2023, I only asked for two things from her personal belongings. There was a bottle of liqueur that Dad kept in his "liquor closet" that had a dancing ballerina inside. He would occasionally bring it out, wind it up and the two of us would watch her spin around. Lyn had the bottle for years. 

Her daughters gave me that bottle, but told me that, sadly, the ballerina didn't dance anymore. As they handed the bottle to me, the mechanism started on its own and that ballerina danced in my hands. We all wept together, taking it as a sign from Dad and their mom.

However, they were unable to find the book. I showed them photos of what it looked like, and said that even though she'd spent years angry with me (it was a stupid family thing), I just knew she would never destroy it. I was right.

Sunday, her husband said he found it tucked away in the back of one of the drawers in her room. My niece told me she'd added precious other things to it over the years...cards from me, a single seashell from when she came and stayed with Handsome and me in Florida, baptism records of her girls, and a few other things. The fact is, she kept it safe for the past twenty years. Thankfully, we reconciled before she left us, so I do have her sweet, final "I love you" to hold on to, too.

The paper on the outside of the box, as well as the individual beads I made to embellish it are faded to white now, but everything else is intact. 

The Keeper of the Book - For Now

I asked Handsome to try to recreate me posing with the box and book as Lyn did all those years ago. I'm smiling through tears. I've added a few more photos to the back of the book, and added the date she left us under the date that we celebrated her birth.

I'm going to add the cards I saved from Lyn to the box. Even when we weren't on speaking terms, we each held those memories close. When I opened the pages in front of Jen and her two kids, I explained each and every photo. Where we were together. What the notes meant. The shared secrets and laughter behind every element saved between its covers. Jen thanked me for sharing and being our memory keeper. That meant the world to me.

I've told Jen that I'll hold the book until it's time for me to be with Lyn again. Then it will go back to her and her daughter for safekeeping. Lyn always used to say, "Look to the stars". That's why I chose the handmade paper that was used throughout her book.

Now she rests among the stars and watches over her two beautiful girls and their families. I'll do my best to watch over them from here, and be the keeper of the flame that keeps her memory alive for them. I have lots of wonderful stories, and I intend to share them all. 

Keeping My Mind and Heart Busy...

Hickory Hill Farm Hickory Syrup

I spent yesterday in the kitchen making hickory syrup! It takes all day for me to brew and bottle a batch, so I made a larger batch this time. In the end, there were a total of fourteen 12 ounce bottles. I shot this photograph just before it got dark here (just before 5 pm).

I have an order shipping today to my BFF in Georgia for her and her husband's bed and breakfast operation. She uses it to create a lovely granola. She and her two sisters developed the recipe, which I've yet to taste. I'll have to bring that up with her!

I'm going to label, cello-seal, wrap and package her order to ship, and once it's in the mailbox, I'm going to sit down and start working on my bluebird until about an hour before I have to go in for my short Friday shift at work. I consider it a little needle dancing "practice" before I spend the weekend stitching on it.

My sister, Lyn

Today marks one year that we've been without you. One year since you went home to be with the Lord. One year that your girls have had to learn about life without your daily chats, frequent visits, and warm hugs. I'm putting this out into the universe, knowing you'll already know these things. All of us miss you deeply. Until we see you again, rest well, my sister. We love you.

Bridal Shower...

The weekend got off to a rough start with my sister's daughters coming in from out of state to try to deal with her personal effects to clean out her home. Her husband is having an understandably difficult time, and going through my sister's things was difficult for everyone. My remaining two sisters and I did what we could to help, but there were a lot of tears amidst moments of happy memories and laughter. 

Our nieces went back home yesterday, and will return in a couple months to put together an estate sale, but many boxes went for donation, and some items of sentimental value were given to family members. 

Before the ladies left yesterday, I was able to meet up with them for a light lunch. Hugs were exchanged, and then we parted ways. My eldest niece was driving six hours to get home, while the other was heading to the airport to fly home. I got in my trusty Explorer and drove an hour north to the wedding shower for my great-nephew, Ethan's fiancee's wedding shower. I knew my two remaining sisters would both be there, so we were looking forward to celebrating for a couple hours.

The bride is in white, and she's surrounded by her sister, who is the Maid of Honor (in pink), her two other bridesmaids, and her daughter.

My niece (her future mother-in-law) threw a wonderful party. She's a great party planner, and there was tasty food, and a few fun quiz games to play for prizes. 

When the bride-to-be opened the gift from Handsome and me, she looked at me and smiled. She told me more than once that she loved her new brooch, and would absolutely wear it for their ceremony. I am delighted that she is happy with what I created for their wedding.

Before we all parted ways, I made sure there were photos taken of me with my two sisters, Di and Jan. We did the best we could to help our nieces over the weekend, then attend this celebration, but I know all three of us were tired by the end of yesterday. 

Jan will be working today and tomorrow; Di will spend a little time with her son's family before leaving to drive six hours north to go home. She lives near my eldest niece, so she has nearly the identical drive. I'm going to get some things done with Handsome today, but I'll be able to rest a bit, too. This weekend was a good time to spend with family, but under the circumstances, it was exhausting, so we'll recuperate as we're able. 

We all miss the sister who wasn't there, and it will always be this way for us. We were four and now we're three, but Lyn will always be in our hearts, and we'll do our best for her daughters, grandchildren, and husband.

Life Is A Gift...

"Bedtime Stories" by Jessica Boehman

Today is my sister, Lyn's funeral. Jan and I put together the photo boards yesterday, as Diana got a late start leaving Minnesota. She arrived in the afternoon, but didn't stay long. She had neck surgery not long enough ago that a nearly six hour drive from her home to us won't cause her a great deal of pain. Her husband couldn't get time off work (and they really tried!), so she came on her own, as she absolutely wasn't going to miss being here for this weekend. Jan and I sent her off to rest up at her son, Dan's home with his family. 

We worked on the boards most of the day, and Jan finally left here after dark - around 5 pm. When I went downstairs from the studio, Handsome told me that he had dinner ready to cook, so we got everything going and I was prepared to sit down for a bit. It was then that I realized we sisters hadn't mixed up the hot chocolate mix for the reception tomorrow, so I pulled out all the ingredients and had it done in less than fifteen minutes. Di is in charge of beverages, so I'll take it with us to give to her. The reception will be in the fellowship hall after the funeral, and we'll all be there to complete the set up prior to the visitation.

I'd like to share a little something I found yesterday. I'm sorry that I can't share an attribution as it wasn't given. The artwork is from the creative hands and mind of Jessica Boehman. I really love this piece, and it's so appropriate for this verse.

"The winter solstice time is no longer celebrated as it once was, with the understanding that this is a period of descent and rest, of going within our homes, within ourselves, and taking in all that we have been through, all that has passed in this full year which is coming to a close... like nature and the animal kingdom around us, this time of hibernation is so necessary for our tired limbs, our burdened minds.

 

...the natural tug to go inwards, as nearly all creatures are doing is strong and the weather so bitter that people are left feeling that winter is hard because, for those of us without burning fires and big festive families, it can be lonely and isolating. Whereas winter is kind, it points us in its quiet, soft way towards our inner self, this annual time of peace and reflection, embracing the darkness and forgiving, accepting, and loving, embracing goodbye the past year.

 

Winter takes away the distractions, the buzz, and presents us with the perfect time to rest and withdraw into a womb-like love, bringing fire & light to our hearth.

 

.. and then, just around the corner the new year will begin again, and like a seed planted deep in the earth, we will all rise with renewed energy once again to dance in the sunlight.

Life is a gift"

 

This is all I have left to share today, my friends. I know this will be one of the more difficult days of my life. We'll be celebrating my sister's life today, wishing that she were still among us, and most grateful she was a part of our family. Thanks for being the first to make me a big sister, Lyn. Rest well.

Stemmed...

 

Sometimes life - or end of life - gets in the way of less important things. I managed to get the stem attached to my Autumn Strawberry, but that's about all I accomplished in the studio. I regret that I didn't get daylight photographs taken, so I'll do that this morning and then I can get this listed in my Etsy shop.

 

My sister's funeral is tomorrow. My two remaining sisters - Di and Jan - will be here today so we can put together photo boards for the visitation. There was also a request from Lyn's daughters that the aunties make our family recipe for hot cocoa mix to serve along with coffee and water. Di is making some lovely hibiscus-flavored water, as well as another that I've managed to forget. Lemons and something else, I think. So, after we've completed the photo boards, we'll move downstairs to the kitchen and mix up a big batch of hot cocoa mix.

One of my ex-brothers-in-law (there are, unfortunately, more than a couple among my siblings) works in graphic and digital design. He agreed to remove and replace a background from an image of Lyn that the girls wanted enlarged. After we arranged that and got the revised image, I ordered a 16" x 20" print to be made to place next to her urn in the church. I'm going to pick it up later today, after Di and Jan drive back to town to be with our nieces.

It's likely to be a busy and emotional few days. Prayers would be appreciated as we formally say goodbye - for now - to my sister. Thanks so much.

Welcome, December.

 

Preparing Our Goodbyes...

 

It snowed again yesterday. Some of the white stuff is still on the ground, and it's perfect for our family's mood these days. My nieces are troopers, in spite of the soul-crushing weight of their grief. Her aunties are helping where we can, but there are some pains only a mother can soothe, and theirs is gone now. I'm sharing this photo today because it seems to be a quiet, warm scene for the end of a hard day.

 

I worked all day pulling photos from albums, as well as my online photos that will be mounted onto picture boards for her memorial service in about ten days. My sisters are doing the same so we'll have quite a collection when we get together to do the boards. 

 

I'm also responsible for the large photograph that will be framed to sit above her urn during the church service. We all agreed on a beautiful, happy photo I snapped of her on one of her visits to Florida when we lived there. It's been hard here, too - which is a massive understatement.

I have to run to town to get more photo paper first thing,  and I need to get her large photo image to a printer for framing. After I print the last of the images I've pulled, I'm going to sit down and stitch. I need to sit down and stitch. My mind can only concentrate on one thing when I put needle and thread to fabric...and that's what I'm working on. It's time for a little rest, and that's the best way to rest I know.

I've been trying to leave replies to comments over the past week, but regardless of the time I sit down to type, I frequently get a message that my reply has "failed to post". If you haven't seen a reply from me yet, that's why. I want you to know I've read every single message, and again you've warmed my heart. Thank you. I promise I'll get replies posted as soon as Blogger allows. I'll just keep trying at various times until it takes them. 

Thanksgiving will be here before I know it, and we're spending some time with our elder son and his family over the weekend. We're sharing the cooking, which will certainly lighten the load, and my spirits. The actual day, though, Handsome and I will celebrate together here at the farmhouse. I'm enjoying reading what you're planning, too, so feel free to share. 

I'll close for now. I'm going to have my morning cuppa, take care of the barn girls, and then I'll be off on my errand. The sooner I'm out, the sooner I can get back and finish my assigned task for the memorial service.

Thank You From The Bottom Of My Heart...

With deep gratitude for your many kind comments, I'm still working on projects that I'll be able to share in the coming days. Right now, our family is taking care of each other. 

I deeply appreciate that you're also taking care of me through all your beautiful messages. I promise to reply to each one soon. While we'll mourn her passing, each day gets a little easier for us, because we know she's no longer suffering.

Until I See You Again...

 

 July 26, 1956 - November 15, 2023

Rest in Peace, Sister Goldenhair

Batch One Complete...

 

I've completed the first batch of frogs and they're ready to hop to new homes. I deeply apologize for missing my mailing goal due to current family circumstances, but they will go out today.

Two of these are free-standing frogs, one is a brooch, and the last one is the blue frog scissors fob. I've already started another that will be completely different for Clara, but I'm not going to share that one for a while.

Today, I have to sew up a commission as we all await regular updates from our nieces. My sister is back home and under hospice care. The hospice nurse said it won't be long, and we're doing our best to cope with the news. We're all so glad that she will be in her own bed when she's called home. She wanted that more than anything. In the meantime, I'm keeping my hands and mind occupied, or I'd be constantly crying. My sisters and I are doing our best to support our nieces as they come to terms with the imminent passing of their dear mother. We're fortunate to all have each other to get through this.

I'm off to get my morning cuppa and then I'll be in my studio. I have packaging and posting to do, after which I'll be sewing for a bit. Please hug your loved ones and tell them you care. It can all change in the blink of an eye.

Tag Will Be Back Next Week...

 

Apologies that Tag won't be posting today. This week we're focused on my sister, Lyn. 

Yesterday we received news from the doctors telling her that she will not be eligible for a lung transplant. Her body is too frail, and she's too ill for consideration. She wants to go home and has accepted hospice, so now her daughters are trying to make that happen. 

 

It may take up to forty eight hours for all the needed equipment to be installed in her home, and truthfully, we're not sure she'll make it. We believe that now that she knows there's no option for a transplant, she may have given up her fight. She's tired. We're heartbroken.

We're doing our best to be strong for her daughters. I ask for your continued prayers as our whole family tries to come to terms with this latest, devastating development. Thank you from all of us.

My Sister, Lyn...

 

This is one of my favorite photographs of me with my sisters. In this one, we're top to bottom, oldest to youngest. Through all the years, we've taken many pictures like this.

 

This was all of us (left to right = oldest to youngest) at Dad's Celebration of Life in August, 2020. My sister, Lyn was leaning on my brother as she stood between us. She was already frail from Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. There is no cure.
 

 

 

Here are the Four Sisters again at Lyn's Birthday party July 2023. She could barely make it from their vehicle to the house, so she sat here until it was time to leave.

 

Saturday, I got a call that she was back in the hospital in the intensive care unit since Friday. She now has end stage COPD. Her daughters are here from Minnesota and Colorado, our 86 year old mum, Di, Jan and I are all here and we've been to the hospital to be with her. Our youngest brother came home from vacation in Georgia yesterday to see her, and I assume our other brother will be here soon, too. This weekend has not been good.

She's improved enough so that she can probably leave the ICU in the next day or so to go home. She's scheduled to again meet with a transplant team on November 21st to assess whether or not she's a candidate for a lung transplant. She is 5'6" tall and currently weighs 98 pounds. (That's not good.) Her husband is hopeful that they'll approve her for a new lung and that she'll be fine. Lyn has said she'll see what the team says and go from there.

Sunday brought Handsome's last concert of the season with the Fond du Lac Symphonic Band. It was held in St. Paul's Cathedral in Fond du Lac. It was a wonderful and moving concert, at one point moving me to tears. Why does that always happen when I've left all my hankies at home? It's been an emotional weekend, and the music released all that I'd repressed. It was all I could do not to weep out loud. I was sitting next to Mum and she whispered, "Are you alright?" I could only nod. I was finally able to pull myself together before the piece was finished, and maintained my composure the rest of the afternoon. Between the venue and the music, I'm surprised there was a dry eye in the place. 

I'm going to town again today to spend time with Diana and Mum. I'm not sure about going back to the hospital right now. Lyn spends most of her time sedated, so acknowledging visitors takes a lot out of her. I'll get updates from her daughters about if and when she's going to go home, and will see her in the next day or so.

 

If you have a prayer or kind thought that you might spare, I'd sure appreciate if you could lift it for my sister. We're praying for her to be comfortable and pain-free, as she's neither right now. I'm going to grab my travel Yeti, fill it with coffee and go meet up with Di soon. Thanks for listening.

The Whistle Pig and A Party...

Whistle Pig is a nickname for a woodchuck, also known as a ground hog. I was driving to my Mum and stepdad's house for a surprise party for my sister. As I came to the bottom of the hill, leading down into Fond du Lac, I saw something inside the line of the shoulder on the highway. It was a little ground hog. It was too frightened to move, but I didn't think it had been hit. By now, you know me. I had to stop to rescue it.

I pulled off to the side of the road, grabbed one of my recyclable grocery bags, and ran against traffic back to it. I can't believe I had to signal for some vehicles to push away from the shoulder. After all, it is a two-lane highway in each direction now, and the inner lane was clear. People are in such a dang hurry and really don't care for wildlife, I guess.

Anyway, as I got to the little critter, another car pulled in behind me, and a nice gentleman in a suit named Teo got out to help. He was more concerned that I might get hit, but also had seen the reason I was running on the side of the road and came to offer assistance.

I easily got the little one into my bag and after discussion about where he or I could take it, I decided to take it with me to the party, and place it in the dog crate at Mum's in a quiet room to cool it down. The best thing was that there were lots of kids at Nana's house for the party, and Aunt Donna got to teach all of them about the "whistle pig", and they all got to pet it.

When I turned it over, we knew it was a young female, and she was stressed and hot. The first thing was to cool her down. She didn't make noise when I lifted her up, so I knew she hadn't been hit. I think she just froze in traffic and the pavement was so hot she overheated.

My niece grabbed some of Nana's washcloths, got them wet with very cold water, and I placed the little girl on the washcloths on a rolled up towel Teo gave me, to let her cool down. We repeated this multiple time while we were there. She finally started to stretch out and then curled up and went to sleep.

These photos were taken before we left, after a surprise Birthday party for my sister, Lyn. I think I've told you before I'm the eldest of the "kids" in our family, and Lyn is next in line. She's been very ill, and we wanted to cheer her up with her first ever surprise party. More on that shortly...

I had planned to take the woodchuck back to the area where I'd picked her up, but when I went to that area, I realized the the highway fence meant to keep wildlife away from the highway would also keep her from leaving the highway area. So, I drove to the other side of the highway and spoke with residents to find out that they hadn't seen a "hog" for months, and they thought the feral cats were killing them. I decided not to leave her there at all.

When asked if I'd named her, I said "no", but my husband had when I called him. He named her, "Don't bring her home". 'Nuff said. I knew I couldn't bring her back to the farm, and I worried that Claudette and Crystal might be a problem anyway. What to do?

I decided to bring her "mostly home", choosing a sheltered spot under lush cedar pines surrounded by thick tall grass. Bee hives nearby would protect her from coyotes, who I don't think hang around where they know there are active bees. She'd be able to move about without bothering the bees, or alerting other larger animals. I left her there, tucked in her towel and said I'd be back in the morning.

When I went back with a bona fide shelter for her, along with food and water, I found her tidy, little bed vacated. No sign of fowl play or predation. I'm sure she felt better surrounded by nature all night, and was able to unwind and explore. She's not all that far from Hickory Hill Farm now, so perhaps some time soon she'll make her way down to the woodshed where she could live out the rest of her days. If the time comes that I see her again, I'll welcome her with open arms. I wonder if she'll remember me?

The big event for the day was actually the surprise Birthday party for my next-younger sister. (As I said, they're all younger.) Lyn is the center of this picture of The Four Sisters, and she's the Birthday Girl. Her big day is actually next week, but our Mum and stepdad hosted the party and wisely chose a weekend night for the celebration so all could attend. There were at least forty people there...mostly family.

Lyn has been seriously ill for a few years, suffering with COPD, and she needs to be on a lung transplant list but has been too weak and frail for surgery even if she were and one became available. People she hadn't seen in a while attended and everyone got a good chance to visit with her. We know it was difficult for her, and she was exhausted by the time they left. Even so, we had cake and sang “Happy Birthday” to our girl, and got this great photo of the four of us to remember her celebration. It was a good day for a good day, and I'm not ashamed to say that when I finally got back home, I realized my dear sister wasn't the only one who'd had an exhausting day. 

It's already nearly two o'clock in the afternoon and I need to get dressed and on my way. I have plans with my aunt and uncle. Prayers for Lyn are always appreciated. God is Good.